Brad GaylardZen for Men: The Art of Zen Driving
May 13th 2008 00:27
What is it about driving that turns us into monsters? I’ve been guilty of it myself in the past – We become completely different people behind the wheel. We cocoon ourselves in this climate-controlled space and throw courtesy, respect and responsibility out the window. It’s almost like the contact between arse and driver’s seat is similar to ole’ Doc Bruce Banner getting pelted by gamma rays.
We all want to be happy, don’t we? We want to be treated with respect, and maybe even take comfort from the fact that our lives are giving something back to the world, rather than just wasting its oxygen. Why then, do even the most well adjusted individuals among us succumb to the obnoxious arsehole demons that ride shotgun in our car rides from Point A to Point B?
Happiness isn’t some unattainable ideal – like winning the lottery or coaxing your wife out of blowjob retirement. True happiness is being at peace with the world around us, and we can experience this peace all the time if we allow ourselves to.
The most difficult time to maintain this Zen attitude is when we are driving. So, if we can let go of all the shit that’s bumming our mellow on the roads, then we should be able to do it any time, right?
We’ve all experienced it – anger at the jerk off who cuts you of in traffic; frustration at the arseclown who is tailgating you; uncharitable towards the knob-jockey trying to change lanes in front of you; and rage at the god-damn universe for imprisoning you in bumper-to-bumper traffic, while some Irish pansy-boy sings a love song to Delta Goodrem on the radio. Learning to release these negative feelings is the key to finding peace on the road.
The first lesson of Zen Driving is acceptance. You must accept the inevitability that, when you’re driving, shit happens. Shit happens on the road every day. Accept it. No matter where you go, there will always be bad drivers, heavy traffic, red lights, and countless other obstacles standing between you and that beer you crave so desperately. Once you accept the inevitability of shit happening, then you are much better equipped to deal with it when it does happen.
The second lesson of Zen Driving is release. You must learn to release the negative energies that bubble up inside when the aforementioned shit happens. What is the point of yelling at other drivers? Giving the finger? Spraying spittle across your windscreen? It achieves nothing. All it does is destroy the peace you might otherwise be enjoying. So let it go.
How you let it go is up to you. Some people breathe deeply and count to ten. Some people recite a mantra. Some people think of Scarlett Johansson’s boobs. What is important to remember, though, is that you will most likely never encounter that person again. Is a one-time adversary worth the negative energy required to abuse them? Wouldn’t’ you rather be at peace instead? You have complete control over whether that stupid driver affects your peace or not. Exercise that control.
The third lesson of Zen Driving is generosity. You know how it makes you feel good about yourself to perform random acts of kindness? It works the same on the roads. If you see someone trying to turn on to a busy street, make room for him or her. If you see a hot girl in a short skirt having car trouble, stop and help her. It’s these acts of kindness that make the world a better place in small increments. And in the case of the hot chick in trouble, who knows what wondrous delights karma might throw your way?
Linked to the concept of generosity is gratitude. When someone lets you in, give him or her that little thank you wave. It’s an acknowledgement of their kindness and an exchange of positive energy. Everyone wins.
Apart from these internal guides to Zen driving, there are other more practical measures you can take to make the driving experience less stressful…
Make sure you leave plenty of time to reach your destination. We get stressed when we are running late, so give yourself plenty of time so you don’t have to race through the journey like Michael Schumacher on speed.
Drive safely. Driving is an inherently dangerous thing, and can be a source of anxiety. So, drive in a manner that reduces this anxiety. I’m not saying that you need to drive like a hat-wearing, 85-year old with the left indicator always on. I just mean stick to the speed limit, don’t tailgate, be aware, don’t talk on your mobile and don’t drive under the influence of drugs or alcohol. It’s pretty common sense stuff.
Ultimately, you are responsible for yourself and no one else. You can’t improve another persons driving by calling them a dick-biscuit and giving them the middle finger salute. Sure they may be a terrible driver, but what good will conflict achieve?
As Dale Carnegie said in his seminal book How to Win Friends and Influence People: “What would you rather be: happy or right?”
I hope your answer to that question was happy.
We all want to be happy, don’t we? We want to be treated with respect, and maybe even take comfort from the fact that our lives are giving something back to the world, rather than just wasting its oxygen. Why then, do even the most well adjusted individuals among us succumb to the obnoxious arsehole demons that ride shotgun in our car rides from Point A to Point B?
It was only then that Henry realised that he'd spent the entire dinner date with a piece of lettuce stuck between his teeth.
Happiness isn’t some unattainable ideal – like winning the lottery or coaxing your wife out of blowjob retirement. True happiness is being at peace with the world around us, and we can experience this peace all the time if we allow ourselves to.
The most difficult time to maintain this Zen attitude is when we are driving. So, if we can let go of all the shit that’s bumming our mellow on the roads, then we should be able to do it any time, right?
We’ve all experienced it – anger at the jerk off who cuts you of in traffic; frustration at the arseclown who is tailgating you; uncharitable towards the knob-jockey trying to change lanes in front of you; and rage at the god-damn universe for imprisoning you in bumper-to-bumper traffic, while some Irish pansy-boy sings a love song to Delta Goodrem on the radio. Learning to release these negative feelings is the key to finding peace on the road.
The first lesson of Zen Driving is acceptance. You must accept the inevitability that, when you’re driving, shit happens. Shit happens on the road every day. Accept it. No matter where you go, there will always be bad drivers, heavy traffic, red lights, and countless other obstacles standing between you and that beer you crave so desperately. Once you accept the inevitability of shit happening, then you are much better equipped to deal with it when it does happen.
The second lesson of Zen Driving is release. You must learn to release the negative energies that bubble up inside when the aforementioned shit happens. What is the point of yelling at other drivers? Giving the finger? Spraying spittle across your windscreen? It achieves nothing. All it does is destroy the peace you might otherwise be enjoying. So let it go.
How you let it go is up to you. Some people breathe deeply and count to ten. Some people recite a mantra. Some people think of Scarlett Johansson’s boobs. What is important to remember, though, is that you will most likely never encounter that person again. Is a one-time adversary worth the negative energy required to abuse them? Wouldn’t’ you rather be at peace instead? You have complete control over whether that stupid driver affects your peace or not. Exercise that control.
The third lesson of Zen Driving is generosity. You know how it makes you feel good about yourself to perform random acts of kindness? It works the same on the roads. If you see someone trying to turn on to a busy street, make room for him or her. If you see a hot girl in a short skirt having car trouble, stop and help her. It’s these acts of kindness that make the world a better place in small increments. And in the case of the hot chick in trouble, who knows what wondrous delights karma might throw your way?
Linked to the concept of generosity is gratitude. When someone lets you in, give him or her that little thank you wave. It’s an acknowledgement of their kindness and an exchange of positive energy. Everyone wins.
Apart from these internal guides to Zen driving, there are other more practical measures you can take to make the driving experience less stressful…
Make sure you leave plenty of time to reach your destination. We get stressed when we are running late, so give yourself plenty of time so you don’t have to race through the journey like Michael Schumacher on speed.
Drive safely. Driving is an inherently dangerous thing, and can be a source of anxiety. So, drive in a manner that reduces this anxiety. I’m not saying that you need to drive like a hat-wearing, 85-year old with the left indicator always on. I just mean stick to the speed limit, don’t tailgate, be aware, don’t talk on your mobile and don’t drive under the influence of drugs or alcohol. It’s pretty common sense stuff.
Ultimately, you are responsible for yourself and no one else. You can’t improve another persons driving by calling them a dick-biscuit and giving them the middle finger salute. Sure they may be a terrible driver, but what good will conflict achieve?
As Dale Carnegie said in his seminal book How to Win Friends and Influence People: “What would you rather be: happy or right?”
I hope your answer to that question was happy.
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